yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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