dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
