I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I still have a little drunk in my system
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
