I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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