Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
