She is in my trunk
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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