My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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