doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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