hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
