do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
