Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
