I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize