actually, I'm a sock model
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
