when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
