Can Purell be used as lube?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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