dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize