I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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