I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
