I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
