I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
