We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
