Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
