plz talk dirty to me
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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