please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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