You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
