I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
