Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
