but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
