When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
