She is in my trunk
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
