everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
