dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
