Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
