Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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