I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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