Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
