I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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