My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
