i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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