you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
