When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
