BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
