the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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