It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
