Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
then he tried to convert me to islam
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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