capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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