Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
