How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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