i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
