i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
