She's JV to your varsity
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
being pregnant is like rehab
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
