hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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